Dawn

My head still aches, and my body is tired. But, I feel like there is a new day approaching. Today was a roller coaster, not unlike the others, really. But, it has the feelings of a hopeful ending.

Here I sit again, in front of my computer, it being sore to look up at the computer screen for long. Lots is still a blur, many things still make my head ache, but I've been sitting up for almost hours at a time now. That's something new, that's progress. And there is hope in that progress. While my head still hurts, I feel changes in my body. You can't observe them very well - I still spend the majority of my time on my side than standing or sitting up - but there is progress. And that progress gives me hope, all I'm looking for at the moment.

I've been supported by the prayers of countless friends, church, and family. It's that support that carries me all of the time, demonstrating the strength, power, and wisdom of community. It's why I believe in community so much, because the power of Jesus is the power of His body, the power of the Church, and not the crappy notion of church of sitting on hard pews and staring blankly ahead. I mean the vibrant, pulsating bunch of people that follow Jesus and are learning, despite their weaknesses, that He makes them strong when we let him work in us despite those weaknesses.

I left the hospital today, after about 48 hours. I spent Thursday afternoon to Saturday afternoon mostly lying on my side and sleeping. A few friends and family came to visit (thanks for those that did, and thanks for those who didn't - one needs one's space at times!). Doctor's monitored my progress, and we had a few CT scans done. There is a slight enlargement of the ventricals in my head (not that I really know what that is getting at - I only have ideas), but that enlargement has stayed mostly constant. The headaches that I have been experiencing, we are all hoping, can be contributed to the Lambar puncture procedure I had done on Monday evening where they tapped my spine and took out some fluid. That caused a low pressure head ache that lasted longer than I initially understood. And the hope here is that the head aches that I think are being to slowly recede are due to a return to equilibrium. Provided the enlargement of the ventricles noted in the CT scan represent a normal state of being for me, all this means is that I should be normal (ha) in a few days time. We'll see.

So, I hope that helps explain a bit of what's been going on the past number of days. Thanks again to those that were my words when I couldn't focus enough to speak them myself. Thank you to those who continue to write, call, and pray. It's appreciated, and my life is richer and healthier because of it.

I hope this blog finds everyone with healthy ventricles. . . ha ha ha