Comments on the day

For those who read it, you'll notice the last post 'Grrr' was deleted.

It was written during a time of too much stress.

Not completely inaccurate, but not exactly a useful post. You'd all freak out.

In reference to it:
Today was odd. I feel all at once unsure of what to do but also aware of a number of threads to look at.
Most of my stress today comes from judging where I'm at right now.
I deem the first 4 - 5 weeks as a really frustrating, unproductive, messed up period of time.
But the last 4 -5 weeks have been really interesting.

Just, where does that leave me?
On what foundation do I build the remaining 3 months?

I do have direction, and I do have purpose.
I just don't necessarily feel I have good context (because of the unproductivity of the first 5 weeks, the times spent in the villages). And thus, with a lack of context, sort of a lack of justification for narrowing the focus to what I have: agro-forestry, tree management, and the natural regeneration of trees.

Mind you, perhaps again I'm being too hard on myself.
But at the same time, I will still say I would have expected better of myself.

I've realized, though, that 'manipulating' people to get information, if you will, is a lot harder than 'manipulating' electronic journals and other online documents. You only need to read the latter whereas the former you have to really know what you're looking for or you won't receive it.
Plus there's all the investment stuff, the side of it all where they really do deserve to know that you care about who they are before they tell you anything remotely of the truth.
So, it's understandable.

There are three things I'm focusing in on right now (and that still makes it hard):
1) Discussions on the worthiness of leaving trees alone in farm fields (essentially a preliminary form of agro-forestry, sort of)

2) Research into understanding the meaning of les Conventions Locales and other projects relating to natural resource management and governance

3) And related to this second point, trying to network with a few of these organizations to see if there is reason for World Vision to try to replicate the process or to see if some form of partnership can exist between them. Or perhaps, merely to learn of the experiences that these organizations have had.

It can make for a busy schedule, and yes, I haven't really figured out yet how to do it all or what will be appropriate use of my time.

I'll have to talk with my mentor about that.

So, that's where I'm at.

Today was frustrating, I couldn't think through things very well despite myself, but at the end of the day, this is where I am.

Next week, I'll take further steps forward.

And then 1 week of vacation. I'm looking forward to it . . .