Fickle paintings

It seems every time I post, I paint a different picture.

I post at times when my moods are different, so you might be confused by the nature of some of my posts at times.

Currently, I'm about 70% calm and 30% nervous and stressed. Just, I'm tired of being stressed, so that's why it's dropped.

You could say I'm waiting for my mind to catch up with my expectations. Like, I probably know what I can do, but I haven't thought of it yet. I'm very much still trying to figure out what might be useful steps forward in the next round of village visits, but I finally have a few ideas, thanks to the advice of a few helpful staff and some of my own thoughts.

I'm looking forward to this weekend because I'll be able to meet up with a friend of mine in Fatick. I hope we just relax together, hang out and swap stories of how the past few weeks have gone. I'm also looking forward to the end of next week as well because it will finally mean a 1 1/2 week break out of the villages. Hopefully a time to clear my head, refocus my thoughts, and strengthen my resolve.

Basically, though, I currently feel like I'm in 'paper writing season' at university. I have the same constant stress level. Just, at some point in my university career, I mastered my mind, told my body that the stress was useless, that the only way was to pass through the mountain or over it, and to not try to skirt around it. It doesn't go away, and you will enjoy the 'paper writing process' a lot more if you just accept that it is there and focus your attention and your energy on it. I need to pursue my work here in Senegal like I pursued my university marks. All of them mattered, and so does this work.

Speaking of which, I have to start brainstorming. Pray for social rest for me this weekend. That I might be refreshed enough to focus through to the break at the end of next week. And then pray for a fire to light up in my heart . . .

Blessings to you all for your prayers and continued support.