Thoughts

Oh, there are so many thoughts in my head. Were I to have a computer everytime an intriguing thought came into my mind . . .

A few interesting tidbits:
I didn't go to Dakar this weekend; the men from the village never called to 're-invite' me.

I didn't go to Mbour either this weekend or last, although I did end up going to Kaolack the other day. Mbour was too far this weekend, and I really needed to make sure I pulled money from a bank, and I knew where there was one in Kaolack. At any rate, I did all of my shopping on that day, in that city. I don't think I'll be going shopping for a long, long time except for water, fruit, and vegetables for on the weekends when I get out of the villages.

I thoroughly enjoy riding on the back of the motocyclettes here in Fatick. In fact, it was also an interest of mine to drive one. So, today I swung that. Paid a guy to show me how to drive it. There's nothing to it, but I needed to know the exact method to start them up (because they're also partially finicking, being so old and questionable). I paid him 1700 CFA (about $4 CDN) for a 1 hour crash course and 1 1/2 litres worth of gas. In this time, I was also able to learn a few basics of how to take care of the things so that they don't die while you're driving them. All in all, for $4, it really wasn't bad. My parents, though, would kill me. Helmets and other safety instruments don't exist. It's the risk you take.
(and even if you're in a taxi, they're so dilapidated, if you ever were in a crash, man, the whole thing would either blow up or fall to pieces. I just trust God in all these things; there's nothing else to be said).
Actually, returning from Kaolack yesterday, pulling out of the taxi station, we almost got side-swiped. We weren't going fast, having just started to pull out, but it was a close call. Would have been interesting to see what would have happened . . . (sort of).

I'm pretty tired of the villages. I'm hardly in them, but my tiredness stems from two main things: I'm getting sick of couscous (I think I wrote that and this sentiment in the previous post). But, I'm also somewhat frustrated by my lack of movement in my work. Again, I think I'm being too hard on myself. Talk to me at the end of August, after I've revisited all the villages again and have worked to learn how to do specific activities. Perhaps the results will be fruitful; perhaps my frustration will subside.

Still, I'm just rather disinterested in the culture. That comes as a shock even to me, and I'm hoping that on some level that is merely a part of the extended culture shock/stress cycle (a revisited 'shock' loop or something).
Just, I'm usually so tired (or maybe more frustrated/disappointed) at the end of a week in the village that I have so little interest in eating Senegalese food or interacting with Senegalese people. I'm frustrated by their interest in me merely for the things they might get (even while I am beginning to want to give things away - I just want it to be received by grateful people, not just half-expecting/half-hoping recipients). I'm hoping that these issues will eventually just burn away.

I get the same request for 'things' from people in the villages, the very people I've come to work with. But, I'm new, they don't know me, and I don't deserve their respect. What, I spend 4 days among them, and then return to my comfortable life in the city. I can't really blame them, even while I do. Just, I'm having a hard time getting past it.

There's also somewhat of a spiritual void. I'm doing well in terms of reading Scripture. Prayer has been a hard practice (and I think that should say something to me), but there's also not much in the way of refreshment through a church service because so much of it is in a form (Roman Catholic - I switched churches these past two weeks. It's a far larger church, WV staff attend it, and the music is better . . .) that I don't follow or a language I don't understand at all (services are mixed between Serere and French). If it weren't for a number of very good resources I brought from home . . .

So, this post has a pretty negative feel to it, unlike the one two posts ago. Life goes on, however, and I'm very much looking forward to the WV retreat in the Gambie at the end of July, only 1 1/2 village visits away. And the village I'm visiting this week is also my favourite, so I am hoping that that helps.

And then after that, it's August, and both Betty and a number of other friends from the West will be back in Fatick already. On some level, the time has gone by fast; on another, it certainly has not.

I appreciate and am always grateful for responses to the post. I hope you are all well back home. I'm off to eat dinner and hang out with the American family for awhile (a social breather before the village).

Pray that I might find tools or angles in my research that refresh its perspective.
Pray then, that my research would be useful for the sake of the gracious organization that sent me here. I want to do good work for them.

Pray that I might begin, during devotions, to pursue knowing whether this is my life's work or whether God has called me to a more spiritual focus. It's been the item of a lot of thought today. Spirituality as what my work will be or what it will include is a big difference I have to decipher (it's also one of the reasons I came here in the first place . . .)

Bless you all and thanks very much for your support.